Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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