Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
