I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
