Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
