I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
