After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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