I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
