And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
