btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
