the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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