We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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