ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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