could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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