Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
