its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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