Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
