I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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