Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
