She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
