I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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