How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
