his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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