so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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