Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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