wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
