Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
