I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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