if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
