dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
