Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
