he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
