dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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