well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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