i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
