Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
