i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
