I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
