Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
