We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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