He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
