Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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