Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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