i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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