seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
