doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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