New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
