come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
