Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
