Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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