We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
